I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
