hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
