So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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