I puked a lego.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
