No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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