question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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