Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
