I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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