What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
