He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
The power of my boobs compel you
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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