also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
