He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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