so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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