R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize