I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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