is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
