For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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