she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
