Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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