I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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