No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
