Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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