4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
