No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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