i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
