she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
