Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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