i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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