So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
