Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
