Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
