My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
