apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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