my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
and i looked up. we had an audience...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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