I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
