I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
