I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
