their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
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