i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
