kristin has been a bad kristin
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
