Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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