this boner is exhausting
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
