so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
