No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
