the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
