How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
