woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
