im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
