i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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