Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
