y did u give ur computer a hand job?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
