Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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