Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
