next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
