this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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