Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
