is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
