I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
