Its about making memories worth repressing
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
