it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize