god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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