Well douche your snatch and let's go!
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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