Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
