Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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